Thursday Already?

I apologize for my tardiness. I always sign off with until tomorrow, but tomorrows seem to be getting further apart at times...

I wish I could say that it is because I have been feeling so energized that I just don't have time to sit still. Not really the case. Although, to be honest, the energy level is better. My solo mission was just fine, although it went by really fast. You know when you plan to do all sorts of things before X gets home and suddenly you realize they will be home any minute and you haven't done any of them? Pretty much like that.

So no remarkable news you missed on Tuesday, unless you are dying to know what level I am on in Candy Crush.

Wednesday I went with Kelly to take Karissa to camp.  I stayed and Lesley and I worked in the gift shop. It was only two hours, but it was a lot more than I've done in awhile. We made a list of what needs to be ordered, got down the shofars and dug out the apple/honey plates for Rosh Hashanah, and put measurements on a big stack of new tallit we got. The last task was somewhat tedious, so perhaps we shouldn't have left it until we were frazzled, but it's finished now. I should have done the ordering yesterday, but the computer wasn't charged and, well, to be honest, I'd had enough Judaica for the day. Not a great excuse because I didn't do it today either. Some businesses won't even look at orders that come in on Friday, even before sundown. I'm not exactly sure about some of the businesses based in Israel, as far as the situation there. But, I am back in the game. I can't do everything, but at least now Lesley doesn't get stuck doing everything.

Afterwards, Lesley drove me home. My neck mobility is getting better, but I still don't feel like I would be a safe driver. I felt tired when I got home, but I didn't end up napping. I actually had the energy to bring the laundry out, sort it, and get it started. And deal with the dishwasher. The zipper bags got washed, too. This is a job only I will do. Everyone else is happy to throw them out and get a new one. But they saved them. Nothing like washing weeks and weeks worth of dirty ziploc bags. Some were beyond hope at this point, but most could be salvaged. I even have a baggie drying rack. It was a gift from my husband:)

I wish I could say that everything was all peachy keen and back to normal. Not so. Nights are still an adventure. Will it be a goopy night? A swelling night? A cranky neck night? I have managed to cut out my afternoon muscle relaxer, so by bed time I am generally really ready for it. The last few nights have been gooptacular, unfortunately. By morning I am covered. Sometimes there is so much sticky goo coming up that I have to sit up to hack it all up. I am one sexy bedmate...

Today started out with dropping Karissa off at camp and then heading to acupuncture. After a not restful night, I wasn't a sparkling ray of sunshine this morning. I ended up "eating" my breakfast in the car. It is a little more challenging than chowing down an egg mc muffin. There is the cup of water, the cup of breakfast, the syringe and the towel to keep it off me all to balance. This was a good morning where I didn't jam up the valve, drop the syringe, upset the water container, or forget to open/close the valve. Nice to not be wearing my breakfast.

I know I have mentioned that acupuncture is like magic, but it is true. It is amazing to me how he will push on a muscle in my neck and I'll nearly climb off the table, but then he'll press a point on my elbow, or my toe, and the pain will totally disappear. The detox point is apparently in your lower  leg and due to all the chemo I'm still trying to push out, it screams when he touches it. Any apprehensions I had about acupuncture have disappeared. Big needles, small needles, in my hands, face, feet, stomach, whatever. It works, that's all I care about. Zachary also did some manual therapy doing a lot of movements with my head. The goal is to get it to go back where it is supposed to be, but the muscles are angry and clamped down and the trach wound closing is pulling it down too. There is progress though. I can tell. The stench of the off-gassing chemo out the trach makes me ill, but better out than in. Whenever I'm sitting still, I'm stretching and moving my head this way and that to get more mobility. And I don't have to look at the ground all the time when I walk. All pluses.

There is still some strange breathing thing going on. Sometimes I can breathe through my nose and sometimes I can't. I haven't been able to figure out if it is a head position issue, or something else. Generally after I suction my mouth my nose will clear, but I'm not sure why that is affecting my breathing. I still breathe just fine at the trach, so it isn't a worry. It just makes me wonder if there is 'something' blocking my nose again (bad), or if after all this I'll have to always have a trach (not my first choice, but not the end of the world).  I also have my pulse beating in my ears off and on. Sometimes it is really loud. I'm pretty sure this is because the scar tissue is so tight it is affecting my carotids. Better than after radiation in 2008, when my neck became so constricted every time I turned my head to the left I would black out. Much better than that.

Kelly says my neck looks leaps and bounds better. It isn't so red. The wound is closing at last. There are only a few tiny spots that make me want to cry when he cleans them, instead of most of my neck. A nerve in the front of my neck woke up this evening. I have experienced this before, so I knew what it was, but it doesn't make it anymore pleasant. Basically what happens is the nerve wakes up for the first time after surgery and says, "What the hell happened here?" It says it by being excruciatingly painful, hopefully for only a few moments. If I'm not lucky, more than a few moments. But while being unpleasant, it is a sign of progress.

Tomorrow is PT. Karina gets to take me. Afterwards, I should really get on that ordering...

Another goop filled night awaits me, trying to find a position to sleep that makes my neck happy while keeping the rolled up wash cloth jammed up under my chin to keep my head from sliding down. It is a strange looking inelegant dance each night.

At some point I'll post the next installment of "Who in their Right Mind..." There are so many to choose from, it is hard to decide. What does that say about me? Well, I'm pretty sure no one ever thought I was in my right mind.

Until tomorrowish...

Love,
Kiara