Public shaming and other parenting strategies...

For the record, I did not write yesterday's post expecting any sort of results. It was truly just a compilation of my thoughts. However, public shaming apparently does work. There was no clump of hair on the tub this morning even though two people showered. Miraculously, a large collection of shampoo/conditioner/body wash bottles were moved to the bathroom sink.  It is fortunate we have two sinks. I am wondering if their journey to the recycling bin will be like the Tour de France and will take place in stages over a period of days/weeks.

Of course, instead, there is a turbie twist hanging on one of the dining room chairs.

I undertook the first tiny task in the unpiling of crap in our house. We have always had a tendency towards clutter, but with no one riding herd on it, it has really gotten out of control. Our amazing helpers are happy to mop, vacuum, wash, etc. but you can't really ask someone else to sort through your piles of junk. I started at the laundry tub. I didn't chose this task with any plan in mind. I just went to put a plastic bag into the bag of plastic bags to recycle and noticed the laundry tub was a nightmare. Loose plastic bags, the clean cover to the dog bed, two kitchen rugs, cleaning rags, sponges, and a non-slip rug gripper were all co-mingled and overflowing. It took maybe five minutes to sort it out. But only someone who knew where the things belonged, and even what some of them were, would be able to do it.

Everywhere in our house there are such piles. Things have gotten shoved to the end of the big table. The kitchen table has been buried for weeks. I did manage to go through the items on the divan, but the rocking chair is still holding a basket full of my stuff. As I spend a lot of time on the couch, it has become the home of many things: yarn, crochet hooks, magna doodle, crossword books, note pads and more. The kitchen counter is covered it both medications and items for my meal preps that I've never found a place to keep. Our bedroom has a big pile of stuff on a dresser, mostly pajamas as it is hard for me to bend down and get the drawer open. Hats and the wig don't really have a designated home, so they are here in there also. As I feel a bit better I hope to start chipping away at these piles again.

Last night was less goopy and more sleeping. That helps a lot. I cannot figure out a way to sleep on my side though. As soon as I get on my side, my head collapses downward, even with a rolled up washcloth under my chin. I have to brace my head up with my hand, which seems to encourage numbness in my hands and more swelling in my face. I guess I'll continue the cadaver sleeping position for sometime.

My neck actually looks/feels more red and cooked. It seems impossible that it is still cooking, but I know that it is. Kelly has been liberal with both the polysporin and the St. John's Wort oil. Cooked meat shrinks, so to speak, so this makes my already tight neck tighter and pulled down even more. Another week, give or take, and I should be on an upswing.

I am looking forward. How long until I can go to a Stand meeting? Will I be up for PTO in September? Can I sign up for... then I remember. All of this hinges on the scans. Clean scans means I move forward in my life, glowing scans and we move onto plan K or L, frankly I've lost track. NED is what we want. For you cancer novices, that stands for No Evidence of Disease.

That is not to say I won't be living life the best I can while I wait. But it does mean it is hard to plan far ahead. I did start my shopping list for the holidays, though. I am woefully far behind. I'm usually closing in on finished by this time of year.

Reggie arrived this morning. We went to college together. We were both clarinet players, at the bottom of the section. She is one of those people that when you meet her you know you will always be friends. She was a bridesmaid in my first wedding. She has always been a kind and reliable friend. I bet I haven't seen her in 15 years. Yet we just fell into our familiar rhythms. Instead of talking about our own tuition, we talked about our children's tuition. And sounding old, complaining about how easy they have it with free laundry, online registration, and the ability to pre-order text books. We met at the age our daughters are now. It is a bit surreal.

Kelly and Karina went to work today. Those are both joyful events. The fiscal year end close is here and Kelly is swamped. It gives him a break from the drudgery to go to work, too. While he is an amazing cook and has gone above and beyond keeping things going, he was never a home ec major.

Karina's first day, while long, was uneventful. Sears apparently doesn't have a regular human resources type department anymore, so no one was quite sure if the new hires should be training, or on the floor, or? Apparently the bulk of the training is online now. Sounding old again: it is a far cry from someone showing you how to fold a shirt on a clip board or manually remove gater tags. I never walked uphill to school in the snow, I promise.

Karissa had a great day at camp. She glommed on to Reggie as soon as she got home, as I knew she would. Reggie has four daughters so that should prep her well for the whirlwind that is Karissa. Hopefully in a few weeks the park won't seem like it is so far away for me. For today I am thankful there is someone else to go to the park and "Watch this. Watch this. Watch this."

Thank you to Tracy for dinner tonight. The salmon was amazing I am told by those with taste buds. Grilled veggies and salad-- wonderful! I'm told there is also bread and ice cream, but those are not tube friendly, so I'll pass. It was nice to have a visit with her, too.  It is still remarkable to me how many people are rooting for me. How many people have been touched by my illness. How many people actually read this blog on a regular basis. I wonder if it is different for people to read it who don't know me well versus long time friends. Reggie remarked, as others have, that she hears my voice when she reads it. But what about people who have never heard my voice?

I've fed the dog for two nights. I've tried to be more helpful. I've taken't some interest in the world around me again. I find these to be encouraging signs. I hope I'm right, because there is jam to make, and apples to deal with, and world peace to establish. Then the next day...

Until tomorrow...

With love,

Kiara