Woo Woo

I'm guessing for many of you, I've probably crossed your line for strangeness at one point or another. Hey, when you are putting it all out there about constipation and bras, there isn't much to hold back. I'm guessing tonight's post will probably move me firmly into the weirdo camp for some of you. And that's okay. I am who I am, as Popeye would say.

It was warm in the house last night. Unfortunately, the humidifier is not amazingly effective if you open the windows, so it was just hot. But sometime in the night it was not hot. It was freezing. And it got more and more and more freezing until you feel like you'll never be warm again. It was me. Just freezing.

I did get up and have breakfast and get dressed. Sweats, sweatshirt, fleece jacket, fleece hat, wool mittens. Still freezing.

Freezing all the way to Karen's for PT. We were early. I'm pretty sure that's a first. I also had to numb my mouth with magic mouthwash before she started, also a first.

I can honestly say, out there for everyone, I had an out of body experience. I can't tell you where I went for large portions of PT today, but part of me was no more in that room than I am in your living room right now. A very strange sensation, but so real. I have no idea where I went, or why. A very surreal experience.

Karen knew it too. She is very perceptive about such things.

When we left, I was drained and draining. Yum.

We made our usual Friday pilgrimage to Kelly's office to check in and sign things and so on. While he went in and did that, I ate my lunch. We remembered ice this time.

Then we headed downtown towards acupuncture. Kelly rightly figured there would be no way I could walk from the Oak St. garage where we usually park. We found a pay park right by the office building and Kelly's grabbed some lunch. After that, it was time to head up.

I am still freezing, freezing, freezing. And so tired. We got up to Zachary's office. Kelly told him about my experiences at PT. He was very interested and asked me about what kind of work she does, etc. Of course I can't remember what it's called. All I can think about is being cold.

I thought I was being pre-emptive by using the magic mouthwash before we even began, but even with it lying down was a no go. As soon as I tried my mouth screamed at me all the way up into my ear. Yikes! So we had to resort to a chair.

He pinched my left ear with something and when he determined where the pinching hurt most, he put some needles in. And my mouth stopped hurting. It is so freaky when it's like that.  I got needles is several places and then drifted off for my customary nap. Not quite as easy in a chair. Or when you are freezing even though he has the space heater cranked on high.

I guess after you've fessed up to an out of body experience, people figure you're not easily surprised. the last few visits Zachary has tried some new things. Today he used some kind of burning roll. It looked like a black cigar. He lit it and then held it over various parts of my legs until the heat reached the intolerable stage. Then he would move. He also used it on my feet. I wanted to ask more about it, but I was so tired I could barely think.

He and Kelly settled up and we headed home. I was completely and thoroughly exhausted. Kind of crazy when all I did was lie on a table for an hour, then sit in a chair for another hour.

While we were on this grand adventure, Karina arrived home and was here to meet the bus. She was also here to meet the gardening ninjas from Stand for Children + Eileen's husband. They did tons of stuff in an hour. I can't believe how much they got done. I am so thankful for them as we would likely be swallowed up by our own yard. I fear there would be machetes involved at some point. Thank you, thank you, thank you all so much. I am sorry I missed you to thank you in person. Although I wasn't a lot fun to be around.

We came home and Karina headed out on her weekend away. Kelly took my temperature. 98.5. Allegedly no fever, but I am freezing and cannot get warm. And my mouth won't stop yelling at me. And I just feel miserable. Motrin is good for miserable.

A dose of Motrin and I fell asleep. When I woke up an hour later, I was drenched in sweat and for the first time all day, not freezing. Just as yesterday the soak in the tub made me feel better, a nap and some Motrin worked today. I am a bit worried. Clearly, regardless of what the thermometer said, I had a fever. I have kind of a barky bronchy cough. I hope I don't have some sort of infection. It wouldn't be a huge surprise given my repressed immune system, but it still doesn't sound like fun.

Between Karen's work and Zachary's work, I can look forward to a drippy, goopy night as I drain and drain and drain. Hopefully at least the swelling will go down.

During my little adventure today, someone, I have no idea who, told me to go to the cardiologist. This is actually excellent advice. I haven't seen the actual cardiologist in two years. I saw the nurse practitioner last year.  It would be a good idea to check the status of my heart. One is to make sure it is up for this next adventure. The other question is, what are my options? Dr. Derani at the Mayo said he would do the surgery when the time came, but he was concerned if the cancer comes back. There is some question about if another surgery will be an option for me. I need an answer to this question as it would not make sense to put myself through more chemo and another round of radiation only to turn around and go into heart failure and discover no one will operate. So these are the questions that must be asked. Soon.

I can't even imagine an echocardiogram. Feeding tube, trach, open wound, mouth hurts when I lie down. Oh, yes, that will be loads of fun.

I am trying to figure out how mask making is going to work next week. They pullout this warm, wet sheet of plastic and press it over your face and neck. Except my neck is going to have a big open hole that goes right to my lungs. Water and lungs don't mix. Dr. F. suggested gauze before he knew the whole trach would be out. Now I'm thinking gauze roll around my neck, and then gauze over that. Loose gauze that gets wet over an open trach hole has aspirating a wet piece of gauze written all over it. I try no to think about any of it too much as it will just freak me out if I do.

No ballet and no Hebrew School this weekend. Weird. I really hope Karissa sleeps in because she has been going non-stop for weeks. She can barely drag herself out of bed for school. It will be nice to have a weekend where she can just play with Poppy, have a little outing with Hannah and Angie. Or maybe just Angie, since Hannah just had her wisdom teeth pulled. :)

My SIL is finally out of ICU and into a regular room. Unfortunately her pancreas is still not doing well and she is back to being NPO and had to have another transfusion today. Good thing my other SIL is healthy. Three of us would be too much.

I am hoping tomorrow starts out better than the last two days have. However, I will be taking the Motrin and soaking in a bath a whole lot sooner if not.

Until tomorrow,
Kiara