Two Long Good Days

I hope I can even remember it all...

Monday morning I slept like a log. I barely heard Karissa come from Angie's and that was pretty late in the morning. It was like I couldn't wake up. I couldn't clear the fog.

I did finally manage to get up and make breakfast. I was doggedly trying to finish the Saturday Times without resorting to cheating, but I was still foggy. And my breathing sounded like someone trying to make an obscene phone call through a galvanized pipe. Kelly asked what was up. I said I felt oxygen deprived.

Well, that is because I was oxygen deprived. My canula was almost completely clogged shut with gunk. Because I can breathe through my nose at this point, I never hit that panic feeling, so I was just slowly suffocating. Fun!

Fortunately, once airflow was restored, everything was better. Well, I still had to cheat for one clue then we figured out the rest.

Anne came to visit. You know you have good friends when they will come to your house to scoop cat litter on purpose. We had such a nice "talk" as we always do. One of the lessons I always tried to instill in my students is that we are all very much more alike than we are different. As I go through this journey, that becomes more and more clear to me. Anne joked that we were separated at birth.

We are both luck to have smart teenage daughters who can hold their own in a discussion. It is amazing the range of topics we covered yesterday, besides our daughters:)

As I got a late start to the day, the afternoon flew by. Before I knew it, it was time to go to riding. I haven't been in an age. I am so excited!!!

Lori came right out to see me, quickly followed by Stan. Once we established I was not an invalid, we went in the barn.

Flies. I didn't ever once think about flies. They never bother me. All barns have flies. But, when you have a very large open wound... flies and wounds are a little too Civil War for me. Fortunately, some creative towel draping and the flies were thwarted.

Forrest smiled for me, or laughed at me, I'm not sure which. Chance snuffed right up by my head. Juliette and Bree were aloof but accepted attention. There is nothing in the world like the feel of a horse's muzzle. Nothing. And that horse smell. Heaven to me.

Sunday was the six month anniversary of Aimee's death. I got to see Aimee's place, which was built where her training stalls used to be. It is amazing. And beautiful and warm. In addition to the HALO work Lori already does with girls who have lost a parent, she and Stan have decided to add working with couples who have lost a child process grief. They are thinking of renovating Aimee's mobile home so the couples could even stay if needed. To take such a crippling tragedy and turn it into something so positive and wonderful is awe inspiring. Stan and I had a little cry and then we pulled ourselves together. I still forget she's gone sometimes and expect her to come around the corner, leading a horse or pushing the wheelbarrow. I can't begin to imagine how they walk that ground physically and emotionally everyday. When you think you can't, think of them.

After a wonderful lesson and visit, we headed  back to Eugene. It a desperate attempt to check some items off Karissa's camp list, we swung through Fred Meyer. While it took much longer than I expected (an hour and a half) we got all the shoes, a couple shabbat outfits, a rain jacket, some black t-shirts for me (great idea Lesley!) and, to Kelly's chagrin, training bras. Never in my life did I pay $1.80 for a bra. I don't think the hooks on my bras cost that little...

Angie came by to drop the truck off and got to admire the purchases. We had a nice visit with her and Karina, back from her travels. Karina also tried to wrangle the clothes monster in Karissa's room with marginal success. Laundry gets thrown everywhere and mixed together and arrrggghhh!

Somehow every night the clock speeds up. One minute it is 7:30, the next 8:30 and the next 10:30. How this happens every night I don't know, but it does. How is it I spend most of my time on the couch yet I never seem to have time to finish anything???

We have movies we checked out at the library three weeks ago. Did we watch one. No. One actually made it to our room with the intention of watching it but by the time we made to bed it was almost 11. So much for watching a two hour movie.

Tuesday started off better than Monday. While I was pretty gunked up, I was not oxygen deprived. Of course, I can putz around with the best of them, so it wasn't too long before it was time to leave for acupuncture.

We were early, which I believe was a first. That was good because Kelly has a meeting at the same time as my appointment. I think my mouth is fine, but as soon as I lie down, it lights up and shoots into my ear. I want to scream. Zachary was able to quiet it down so I could lie down. Then he moved onto the nerve. Once all the needles were in place he wired up the ones on the right side of my neck. Interesting sensation. Nighty night.

It really helped. When he took the needles out, he put a tiny little on in my left ear to try to tame the pain a little more. Kelly will pull it out tomorrow. Thank goodness for Zachary.

When we left I saw that the Tuesday Farmer's Market was still in full swing. This is good as it has all the wonderful fruits of a Saturday without the crowds and the germs. And there are strawberries. And cherries! And spinach. And a hundred other luscious things. And beautiful flowers. And plants. Heavenly!

We also stopped at the Backyard Farmer for scratch. The chicks are so cute. I would bring home two in a minute, except I don't think all our wonderful helpers want to clean chicken poop off the ceiling. Chicks make a powerful mess for something so small. There were coo-coo marans and black austrolops and three or four other types.

When we got home, Jen was well through her usual routine. I made a smoothie mostly of cherries and peach, with a dab of strawberry, kefir and pomegranate concentrate. That has to be good for me.  Unfortunately Jen and I had no time to visit. I have to tell you I still flinch when I see her down scrubbing the kitchen floor. I feel like a slacker. I know that the odds of me getting off the floor would be pretty slim.

The afternoon passed in a blur. I don't know what I did. Stare into Facebook I guess. Returned a few emails. Not exactly changing the world.

Oriana brought a lovely fish stew for dinner. She also stayed for a nice visit. Always so nice to see her. Another such giving person working so hard to make the world better for others. We are so lucky to be surrounded by such people.

Heather brought Karissa home. I'm not sure which one of them is more frazzled. Heather is gearing up for Zoo Snooze and Karissa is reaching that end of the school year exhaustion. There is crying about showering and crying about undressing and yelling. She hates her life! But at last she is in the shower.

I washed her hair and brought in the pjs. Clothes are laid out for tomorrow so hopefully the morning chaos is reduced. Kelly does hand meds and tuck in. I close up the coop and get five eggs. Considering three of our five chickens are four years old, this is impressive.

And here it is almost 10:30 and there is still a list of tasks to do. Where does the time go???

I need a neck clean up. We need to think more on how we cover my open trachea for mask making tomorrow. Just thinking about it makes my mouth upset. I actually can't even talk about it. I'll just tell you how it went when it's over tomorrow.

Thank you for all the idioms. I love them!

Also thank you for those of you who asked thought provoking questions about chemicals. I'm actually going to focus on two items, GMO and Roundup.

We (not me, the universal we) spray Roundup like it is water. If a little isn't enough we use more. I could substitute other weed killers, or fertilizers, or pesticides. We give no thought to what this does to us, or our children who walk on these lawns/sidewalks, or the insects or frogs. A weed free lawn is IMPORTANT. Advertising tells us this. If your lawn isn't green you are some kind of failure. Ants in your kitchen, just spray this and they'll die. Why does stuff have to be killed? No, I don't like thistles or ants or mice. I know some weeds are hard to get rid of. Vinegar will get most of them, honestly. Or smothering them. Why are dandelions bad? Why can't they be a sunny spot of yellow in the yard and a puff ball for kids to blow. We've been sold this idea that sterile is a good thing. We should be careful because a whole lot more might be sterile if we keep spraying stuff willy nilly without thought.

As for GMOs, you cannot have as much hardware in your body as I do and be anti-science as some have accused me. If you could grow your GMO corn (for example) and I could grow my heirloom corn from seeds my family has saved for generations, and there was no problem, I wouldn't care in the least. However, corn is wind pollinated. And, while my pollen won't affect your crop, your pollen makes mine worthless. I can no longer sell it as heirloom organic. That in itself is bad enough. But then, through perverse use of patent laws, you now sue me for theft, confiscate all my corn and put my farm out of business. And the seed cleaner who used to clean my seeds for saving. And, while rational people think, that couldn't happen, it has, over and over and over. And when you look and you see two supreme court justices, and high ranking officials in the FDA and all over the court system you find former employees of Monsanto who still have stock options and are vested in the health of the company. It is then I get upset. I don't have to eat GMOs if I don't want. I can avoid them as long as all the food does not all become cross contaminated. And people who do want to eat them should do so with my blessing. But pollen doesn't play by man's rules. It goes where it wants. No company should not be able to destroy someone's life's work "accidentally" and then punish them on top of it. But it happens often. Food Inc. was enlightening.

So maybe stop spraying the roundup. Or let your lawn be a little less green. Or try a mouse trap instead of poison bait. Or buy the sun screen that doesn't have the nasty stuff in it. Or read the label on something your family uses a lot of and learn about what is in it. Maybe it's great. Maybe it isn't. But I feel strongly we have to stop being distracted by all our diversions and pay attention to what we eat/put on our bodies/spray around our houses. No one as interested in your family's well being as you are.

Okay, I've climbed down off my soap box. I apologize if that was a little much. That's what happens when you have too much time inside your head;)

Until tomorrow, after mask making...

Kiara