Perspective

I had several blog ideas floating around in my head today.  I was unsure of what would rise to the top. Well, I'm still not really sure.

When I'm alone, I've been practicing what sounds I can make.  The irony of the fact that the hard K sound is completely impossible for me to make is painful.  Not only does that mean I cannot say the names of any of my immediate family, or myself, it also eliminates a curse word I am probably overly fond of using.  I guess it could be worse; we could still live on Common Court and I could still work at Kay Carl.

Apparently there is an advantage to having a fairly large vocabulary.  As I figure out what words are particularly hard for me to produce, I've started referencing my internal thesaurus for words with a similar meaning.  Sometimes it takes several synonyms before my message gets across (you will be happy to know that shit comes out just fine...)

I planned a lazy day of getting a few simple things finished like thank you cards or the crochet project I've been working on for about three years.  No.  The time just kind of slipped away.  When I got out of the shower this afternoon, I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than a nap.  Too bad it was time for piano lessons.  Sigh.

After piano, there was some scrambling around getting chickens set up for another bitterly cold night and getting Karissa's math homework finished.  Thank goodness for grandma's help.  Once Kelly got home from work, we left for Corvallis to see Karina.

Of course we are on our way when both my neck and my feeding tube stoma decide to argue about who wants to hurt more. My neck won.  I know this particular pain.  This is the half of a nerve that was cut through and just woke up and is yelling, "What the hell happened to me?"  It feels like someone is plunging an ice pick in my neck.  Good thing it is intermittent.  My stoma is irritated by some seepage that is coming out of it coupled with the plastic shield rubbing relentlessly on my stomach.  The skin is just raw.  Since I never even met the gastroenterologist (I only know his name from the bill), I'm not really sure who to ask about it. Hopefully the Motrin/Wild Lettuce cocktail will take me through the night.

Tonight was my first foray into a restaurant.  It probably didn't help that I had a minor melt down in the car when we were pulling into the parking lot.  I was trying to tell Kelly something, which is hard enough, but then everyone else in the car was talking, too.  It wasn't anything terribly important, just one of those things that crosses your mind and you know you'll forget it.

The waitress didn't make a big deal when I declined all offers of food and drink.  In a way it was nice because when I was eating before I ate so slowly that everyone would have to wait for me to finish.  Karina and I had a nice conversation, with me supplementing with a note pad as needed.  Lucky for me the soup of the day was cream of butternut squash, so we took some of that to go.  I figured the restaurant wouldn't be all that excited about me pulling my shirt up and shooting it in right there.

We went back to Karina's dorm room where they fortunately have ice because despite the temps outside in the low 20s the soup was still more than piping hot.  It was a great consistency, though, so I didn't even need the immersion blender I brought with me just in case (a very durable wedding gift from 1990-- thanks again, Dawn!)

By the time we got home it was almost ten, hence the late posting.  Today is the tenth anniversary of Kelly's father's passing, so we lit the Yarhzeit Candle in his memory.  Karina is the only grandchild who was fortunate enough to get to know him.  He was a wonderful man and he is deeply missed by many.  Cancer has taken much from our family.

It is not good to end the week tired when you are facing dress rehearsal, two recitals, a week with no school and two big holidays.  And Grandma leaves, so no extra help until Barbara arrives next Friday.  I better eat my Wheaties.  So to speak...