I'm back

So most of you have given this up because I never post anything new. That is fair. Here is the update as of today:

The weight loss has stabilized. I would like to stay at this weight, so now I'm back to the old eat less exercise more routine that everyone else lives with. I purchased the bulk of my new wardrobe at the St. Vincent's. Initially this was to minimize the outlay in case I gained back the weight, but I really did find some great stuff. It is the bargain rack thrill of the hunt on speed. I love it! And, it has very little guilt. The money goes to a good cause, people have jobs in the store, I get amazing brand name clothes (yes, GAP, Old Navy, LL Bean, Lands End, Jones New York), and if something happens and I can't use them anymore, I can donate them back. Length is an issue, as small shirts and small pants come with short legs and short sleeves, but a little extra looking helps.

On the cancer front, things currently look good. I have a "coating" on my tongue, which is unusual, but not unheard of... this falls in the category of unattractive and somewhat annoying, but something I can live with, which is good, because I have to. There are not blood markers for this type of cancer, so the doctors will be relying on CT and PET scans annually to check on things. Five years seems to be the WHEW point.

The head and neck surgeon would like to do a scar revision as he says the scar is not very good. I don't know that it bothers me enough to have them cut out another 8 inch section and sew it up again just so it can look better. We'll see.

After almost 9 months of effort, the insurance company has decided to approve my breast reduction. I know this is an uncomfortable topic for many people, but lets just get it out there -- I don't think anyone really needs to be a G cup, and certainly not a 36 G. Women say I'm lucky and men seldom realize I have a chin, or anything above it. However, my body was not designed to carry this weight. I could handle it when I was 50-90 pounds heavier, because fat is good padding. Also, I had a lot more upper body strength. Cut through all your chest muscles, then half your neck muscles, lose 50 pounds and your body says NO! If I opted not to have a reduction, I was facing eventual shoulder surgeries and a neck fusion. Sometime in the next 90 days, I'll be a whole new woman. And, I can finally cross buying a bra at Target off my bucket list.

The heart has been stable for the last couple of echos, so that is good news. The ring is still moving around, so that is exciting. With weight loss, my scar moved so it is no longer in line with my cleavage, which is kind of weird, but, oh well.

So now I have reached the point where I can take a breath. I've been waiting for the next disaster and afraid to make plans for the future. Finally, I realized the future is that time between disasters, so I should make the most of it. I'm trying to figure out how to renew my teaching license without going back to work yet. Strange, I know. Walking, exercising, cooking, planning the garden, playing preschool games and watching over middle school homework. It is enough.

The next disaster actually kind of snuck up on me. Shasta is old. Not getting old. Old. She has large fatty tumors. She has a hard time moving around and getting up and down. She can't hear and doesn't see well. She poops on the floor several times a day. She seems happy and not in pain, which almost makes it harder to think about letting her go. I have told her on several occasions it would be so much easier on me if she just didn't wake up one morning. I know that is being selfish, but after the Orca incident, I'm decidedly gun shy. The movie Marley and Me about put Karina over the edge, so I know this will be very unpleasant.

With the inauguration, I am dreaming of the future. I am looking for ways to give back to the country and the community. I want to leave a better world for my children and give hope to others. How are you making a difference?

Love,
Kiara