Mean Genie

How many movies and short stories are there about genies? He/She grants you three wishes with a few conditions, and some how they never work out correctly. Sausage on the nose, trapped in outer space, on and on. Apparently, I must have wished for being able to eat as much as I want and still lose weight. The catches I overlooked were that I can't taste any of it and it has to fit in a syringe. Pretty serious limitations to this wish.

The girls are at the fair today with my wonderful friend, Jen. She has five children at the fair today: 8 months, two three year olds, a 12 year old and a 13 year old. She deserves hazard pay, and perhaps sainthood. Wednesday the Steinmetzes had the girls all day, so I had a nice break then, too. I'm just not that fun to be around.

The Steinmetz family left today. Alexis and Ben return sometime this evening. I should make some attempt to clean up, but I don't know if I have the energy. We have an oneg tonight after services, at Bat Mitzvah tomorrow and a party tomorrow night. I don't know. Not that anyone would criticize me. Well, I can think of a couple of people, but that isn't relevant. I just despise wasting my entire summer on feeling like crud.

I've tried perspective. What is one summer in exchange for a long life? That perspective is easier when you aren't the one watching everyone else enjoy the fruits of summer while you drink ensure through a syringe. Too burned for swimming, to tired to play. After spending last summer in heart failure I can honestly say I liked that better. I'm good at hyperventilating. I've had a lot of practice.

I'm still lusting for water, but trying to balance desire with fear. It actually doesn't hurt every time I drink, but the pain is so awful when it does that I am terrified.

Dr. Holo, the girls pediatrician, recommended I get a pic line and have an IV every day. She offered to call the oncologist, so I must not look too great. I don't know. Everything always seems like overkill to me, usually until it is too late. I won't believe I'm hurting until I collapse. Not one for watching the signs or anything. I'm sure this surprises all of you.

Still no word back from the surgeon, either. I've developed a situation where every time I turn my head to the left, my scar puts pressure on something in my neck that gives me an instant explosive pressure in my head. Dr. Ashley thinks it may be my carotid artery. I called an left a message for the doctor in Portland last week. Apparently carotid artery doesn't carry the weight it used to.

BUT, speaking of my surgery... my shoulder is BACK!! I was whining and crying the other night about if only one thing could stop hurting, etc. That night when I went to bed I discovered I could pull my shirt over my head with my right arm. Had I been given a choice, I'd rather have my tongue than my trapezius muscle, but no one asked me. I know it isn't a tail, or the power of flight, but it will have to do.

I have a buffet of lemon-lime slushee, lukewarm spearmint tea, ensure plus and water. Too bad I only have one syringe for all of this delicious lunch. After all, nothing says 100 degrees and humid like warm tea.

Love to you all,
Kiara