To eat or not to eat

I have now reached the point where I am not consuming enough calories to function effectively. I lost about four pounds in the last week and my blood pressure has dropped pretty low. I read somewhere that taste is the only one of your five senses you need to survive. I guess that is true. It is so hard to force yourself to eat when everything tastes like nothing.

I didn't think it would be this big of a challenge. Who among us has not finished something that was not very good because it was there, or because you paid too much for it. I have to psyche myself up to eat. Otherwise, I'm so discouraged, I won't even try some things.

Instant breakfast has been a lifeline, but I'm getting pretty sick of those. Right now I have three choices: up the instant breakfasts to five a day, force myself to eat more food no matter what, or get the feeding tube. Option three is certainly looking more appealing than it ever did before.

I figure I could afford to lose about 20 more pounds without too much problem. However, at four pounds a week, that goes quick. Also, since the effects of radiation linger after the last treatment, as much as a few months, that doesn't mean I'm out of the woods at the end of August.

Also, losing weight this fast makes me so tired. Yesterday I took three hour nap and still fell asleep at 8pm and slept soundly all night. Being this tired doesn't get much done around the house. It doesn't make you want to exercise, either, which isn't really good for your heart.

I weighed this amount in about 8th grade, but I actually wear a smaller size now than I did then. I'm in clothing territory I don't ever remember. As you can imagine, I have about three things that fit.

This was brief, but we're off to the eye doctor. The great contact lens caper continues.

Love,
Kiara