Karina and her Mothers

Most people have a vision of big events in life-- births, graduations, children heading off to college, weddings and so forth. Somehow in my life, each of these events has not really matched the picture in my head.

What if you had a wedding shower and no one came? When you build your family through adoption, it is wonderful, but it is not the vision you are typically brought up imagining. While I never thought about my daughter having a Bat Mitzvah as I wasn't raised Jewish, once I realized it was coming, I didn't know I would have both radiation and familial drama to deal with... and again both over shadowing to taking Karina to college.

Needless to say, picturing taking Karina wedding dress shopping never included a feeding tube/trach tube/boogie board/crew cut looking hair and all the rest. But I didn't get to choose obviously.

However, while the events in my life certainly having matched a Hallmark Card, I have something better. Amazing friends. Women who have come forward time and again in my life to save me from my poorer choices and celebrate the good ones. These women have become mothers to my daughters.

Each of them brought a unique skill set and perspective to this job, but both my girls have been so blessed by them.

Yesterday four of these women were able to join us on the wedding dress trip. Dawn and Lynette, who spent far too long in a tow truck made it. When Karina was a baby, Dawn watched her each day despite the fact that all Karina would do is scream the entire time as if she was being killed. It is surreal to think about that and then see her standing there in tulle and lace.

Angie, who saw Karina through middle school and high school, a steady guide, coach, encourager and voice of reason. She was able to not only ooh and ahh with us, but use her trained seamstress eye to really look at some of the dresses. Since her daughter is a bridesmaid, she also was stalking the aisles for those dresses as well.

Mary, dear Mary, the nuturer. She too has known Karina all her life. In addition looking at dress after dress and giving her input, she also helped me around, cleaned out my canula and made sure I took meds and ate.

And so many other moms out there getting pictures of dresses on text. And more moms who would have wanted to come. I don't know that there would have been room for all of Karina's moms.

How do you thank people for such a role? It is impossible. The best I can do is say thank you for loving my girls and trying to make their lives as "normal" as possible under completely abnormal conditions time and again. I love you.

After having such a wonderful day yesterday, I feel almost spoiled to be having another one today. The wonderful women of Stand for Children came to see me. They brought poems, writings, jokes and news. They engaged my brain and surrounded me with their brilliance and respect and love and it was amazing.

Thank you to all of you who continue to FTFF, cheer me on and send your love prayers and support. I have a million reasons to live and you are all a part of those reasons. This time we get to win.

Until tomorrow,

Love,
Kiara