Hospital food, waste, and nose vacuuming

First off let me say, if anyone is wondering what the breakdown in the healthcare system is, it is nutrition. While this is really not news to me, it is brought home each time I stay in the hospital. The food choices are atrocious. In fairness, I only see the pureed menu, so maybe the regular menu is better. I can only hope. The breakfast choices are all high carb and high sugar, except the low cholesterol egg replacement. I haven't even dared try that. After four years of our own home raised free range eggs, my body would probably riot.  So I continue to choose the least evil of the choices. They complain you don't have bowel movements, but offer no fiber. But they can fix that by giving you chemically prepared benefiber. Why not flax? Or acacia? Or chia? Or even good old fashioned bran?

Would it kill them to have some cinnamon, or ginger or turmeric? The anti-inflammatory properties of these herbs are well documented. Again, in fairness, there is curry on the pureed menu, but I haven't been brave enough to try it. The last thing I need is a wicked case of reflux on top of all this drama.

Why is is the fact that I shun corn syrup based formula in favor of actual food such a novelty? Doesn't it make sense that my body was designed to run on food? It is unnatural enough to be running the food directly into my stomach, why add more by living on a chemistry experiment.

I apologize to those who have found success with formula. I know I sound like I'm up on my high horse criticizing you. I'm not. If it works for you, do it. For me, I need that extra nutrition. The herbs and spices. The connection to my food and my family. To limit the sugar as much as possible and the processed food. I have the advantage(?) of not having to taste my food, so I can eat good for you things I don't even like, such as avocados, mushrooms, and olives. Still not cilantro. It is just banned.

Doctors, hospitals, and dietitians need to recognize that food is a key part of the whole picture, a tool they are largely ignoring. Along with alternative medicines and therapies. But that is one woman's opinion.

One hypocritical woman's opinion, who received a gazillion different meds last night to resolve some crazy issues. But more on that below.

As I have mentioned many times, waste makes me crazy. Food waste. Compostable wastes. Intelligence waste. Time waste. It all frustrates me to no end.

I have been slowly parting with my school stuff. It has been difficult, even emotional at times, as so much of this holds such powerful memories for me. But it is far less painful than seeing it sit and go unused and possibly be ruined by mice, or a leak, or...

Harder, I have come to realize, is the waste contained in my own head. If only I could lift out the things I have learned and give them to others. Here is what I know about Reading Recovery, Accelerated Reader and  Words their Way. Here is what I know about Family Math and Tribes. Here is what I learned at Operation Chemistry. Here is how you bake home made bread, grind wheat, can peaches, and make jam. I won't say here is how you get lilies to grow 8 feet tall, because I don't know how I do that. Lesley says it is some sort of magic I possess. More likely good location and lots of compost.

Is there a solution to this problem? I don't know. Several people have said online teaching, where I wouldn't have to be able to speak. Not a bad idea, but no idea where to even begin. Not that I have to deal with it at this second. But, I have found that having something to push forward to makes all of this much easier to deal with overall.

So back to yesterday. For whatever reason, the swelling was on a roll yesterday. I did nine laps of the floor. I did arm exercises. I sat up in the chair. I got to shower like a big girl, all by myself, standing up and everything (and a hospital has unlimited hot water). They put me on a regular rotation of Tylenol and Ibuprophen, as well as Gabipentrin for nerve pain. I iced my face. Still the swelling continued and continued. WTH?

I was crocheting in the evening and finally had to stop when my eyes swelled shut completely. The nurse called the ENT on call and she came right up. She agrees that the swelling is much greater. Can she take a picture to send to the chief resident? Of course, if you promise not to post it on Facebook.

She wants to look with the scope, but she can't get up my nose. It is too full of gunk. She asks if she can try suctioning. Why not?

Using the small suction kit for the trach, she coats the tube with some lidocaine jelly and goes for it. At first nothing, but then stuff starts moving. Then it stops and she pulls the tube out and it is totally full of, well, snot. Clean that off and go again. More and more and more yellowish stuff comes out. It feels like having my face vacuumed, but honestly it really helps. For a brief period of time I can even breathe through my right nostril. Whoo hoo!

She tries to do the left side, but no success. It tends to be much tighter, which is why I always ask them to scope on the right side. Despite all the crap she gets out, she still can't get the scope through. She does use it in my mouth, but can't really see anything useful.

Things start getting exciting. My BP spikes to 187/114. This is not okay, so they get the emergency BP reducer. And some steroid to maybe bring the swelling down, although since my airway is safe, it isn't quite as scary (sometimes that trach is a life saver-- well, like everytime I breathe.) I get Tylenol, Motrin, and Gabipentrin on top of all this. And more Clindamycin. And Reglan. And when the nausea wagon cranks up, some Fenergin in the IV. So much for this granola mama's health regimine.

Everything settles down and I pass out for obvious reasons. I must have scared Kelly as he ended up staying the night in my room. Sadly, I was so out of it when I woke up and went to the bathroom, I didn't even see him over there. In my defense, my room is huge.

I feel better this morning. The docs rounded at 6 and 7. Dr. A was with them at 7. He was worst case scenario guy, as usual. I love him, but bright ray of sunshine he isn't. He is afraid it is a tumor. I think it is the sinus infection from hell (or an alien is going to burst forth from my face.) I hope I'm right and he is wrong, love him though I do. He said he'd come back and see me after clinic today. He is hoping to have some path results, but more likely tomorrow.

Kelly left after the doctors rounded to head back to Eugene. It is meet the teacher day, then the first day of school tomorrow. It makes me sad that my meet the teacher is sending her a note, but it isn't like I've never met her. I am excited the fourth grade team is so great and happy Karissa will get some good Oregon history. Not like Karina, whose only Nevada history she learned at home. Her stellar 4th grade teacher there wasn't anything in Nevada history worth teaching. Pathetic.

OT came in and showed me some exercises to help with drainage. She also asked a lot of questions and had some good suggestions for making tasks more manageable. She did not feel the goal of driving again was out of the question. As she said, that's what side mirrors are for... I'm glad she gave me a handout though as my brain seems a sieve lately. I can't imagine the ongoing flood of drugs help that situation.

Rachel the wonderful SLP came to visit. There aren't a lot of options for me at this point for speaking or getting my jaws open more. If there is necrosis back there, too much prying could risk breaking my jaw. More Mia, Karen and Zachary to move things slowly and carefully as much as possible. Of course we chatted about way more than that, but you don't get to be privy to our snark:)

Abbasse brought in the goods for a shower, so once this clindamycin runs I can sneak in a shower hopefully before I have any visitors. Anne offered to come up. As guilty as accepting this kindness made me feel, there is a certain helplessness that comes with being in the hospital and unable to speak for yourself. Just ordering meals requires the phone, so I always have to ask for help. Not my strong suit, as many of you well know.

Tehila  and Boaz may come by if her life isn't too crazy. Karrie and Gabe happen to be at OHSU for another reason, so they have offered to come by. Dr. Andersen will be back after clinic and Rachel said she'd stop by again. Potential for a full day.

I've been pondering all the things I want to do. To write. To make. To try. To give. To read. I still have so much to do in this life. I really hope Dr. A. is just his usual overcautious self. I don't feel like Houston in the fall has the same ring to it...

So let's hope for infection that can be cleared up. Let's hope for an escape from the hospital home for real food, the pit crew, family, friends, and love. I have things to do and dying at 46 is not on that list. I guess I better really be focused on high holy days this year, and getting my name down in the book of life for another turn around the sun.

Love to you all!

Until tomorrow, with hopefully good news,
Kiara

PS I had hoped to include the picture of Kelly in his lovely yellow gown and purple gloves and the picture of the glorious sunrise through my window this morning, but I am not quite that tech savvy and my IT guy is going to the ice cream social. Maybe tomorrow.