Just a little port

Kelly has been known to tease me, "You can do open heart surgery on Tylenol, but taking out a splinter makes you hysterical?" Why, yes, that is true. And, in true Kiara fashion, 12 hour surgery no problem, but this friggin port hurt like hell...

The staff at the hospital were wonderful and caring and amazing.  I got to meet a lot of them because I am special. Of course respiratory had to hang out with me because of my trach. Very thankful I thought to have Kelly bring and extra canula. Not model they are going to have in the store room.

They have the nifty hospital gowns they plug the hose into and blow air on you, warm or cold, your choice. Nice. IV in first try, nice. As much Versed as I would like. Very nice. Judge away  people, judge away. I'll take what I can get that doesn't make me vomit.

I'm getting way too much practice at crawling onto the operating table. Thankfully here they hooked my trach right up to the la la juice without the protracted Hell from the trach adventure.

Apparently something on my neck did not smell like roses. Since I can't smell anything (when you breathe through your neck, no smell...) how would I have noticed? Apparently the duoskin stuff they put on up in Portland that should have fallen off, didn't. It kind of melted into my skin and trapped in the discharge. Yum. So they had to scrape that off, unveiling some small wounds created by it. Nice.  They also swapped out my trach collar for a clean one. Apparently it wasn't fresh as a daisy, either. Now there is an elaborate array of wicking pads wedged this way and that under the edges of the trach. This job involved two people from wound care and the respiratory therapist. May you never know how comforting it is knowing someone is holding your airway stable with their hand.

As I said, everyone was wonderful, but my discharging nurse was amazing. You know you live in Eugene when you and the nurse share an herbalist. Or that herbalists came up in a conversation at the hospital. Or that you have to ask, "Who do you see?" She commented to me about my spirit. I find this very interesting because several of the nurses at OHSU have said the same thing to me. That my spirit shines through despite my inability to speak. That people who do best through chemo are the ones with a good spirit. I am flattered that they feel this way, and glad. I still don't really understand, though. What good does it do to complain and mope? It won't make you feel better. Crying makes my face hurt. Whining is pointless. Laugh when you can. Smile when you can. There is enough bad shit to be getting on with.

We were home close to two. Yes, as I said in the beginning, this little cuss hurts! I can't raise my left arm very high. No idea how I'm going to put a bra on. Another reason to be thankful for that reduction! I can't shower for 48 hours. I hope Sara doesn't mind too much when she cuts my hair tomorrow.

Special hair cut and big giant head. I know Elle and Vogue will be competing for this driver's license photo. More likely going to appear on the cover of one of those rag sheets as "Alien life form kept hidden from the public until NOW!"

I didn't move around enough today. I'm pretty sure walking from the couch to the computer desk does not constitute exercise. If it did, I would have been in much better shape years ago! Tired, sore and a bit testy. Fortunately for my family, writing it down lets me take the edge off a little.

Hair cut, PT, and a visitor tomorrow. That is a packed in day for me. I'm trying to stay awake long enough for that last dose of Tylenol.  I am a junkie. A drooling junkie. Thankful tonight for wonderful hospital staff, amazing food from Nina and Rebecca (can't attest to taste or smell, but they both looked beautiful.), and my steadfast family. Karina can guess my personal sign language usually, Karissa is not freaked out by my Elephant Man appearance, and Kelly continues to adore me. Blowing in his ear has gotten to be more logistically problematic, though...

Thank you my friends for being there for me to lean on. Love and laughter to all of you.

Until tomorrow...