Clear the Crap OUT!

Happy New Year to all of my dear friends and family.  I hope you have a wonderful evening and a joyous new year.  I, for one, am ready for a new year!!!

Kelly and I have declared tomorrow Wolf get-rid-of-crap Day.  We have too much stuffed in our little house.  I started early as I have been trying to find a home for the parts to two new blenders and the juicer and the feeding syringes and the extra valve for my feeding tube and... lots of stuff that has been living on the counter for two months + now.  I combined two drawers which could be loosely described as 'junk' drawers into one.  Aside from the really weird stuff in them, I also found 10 black ink pads that need to be re-inked, a no-bark collar that may or may not work if a battery was inserted, and two quart Ziploc bags full of rubber bands.  Any takers???

I know in our bathroom draws there live at least six curling irons of various sizes, two sets of hot rollers, eye moistening goggles, a disposable blood pressure cuff (from when Karina was born), an entire drawer of 'special' baby blankets, and enough hair thingies for two beauty schools.  How did we end up with all of this???

Every drawer, cupboard and closet I open, I find more stuff stashed.  Stuff I couldn't bring myself to part with, stuff that I knew someone desperately wanted if only I knew who, and stuff that I might need "someday."  Just teetering on the edge of hording, maybe?

I also have boxes and boxes and boxes of school stuff that I can't bare to just give away to Goodwill.  I have to find a home for it.  I have ideas on some of it, but some I really just need to sit down and go through.  Too bad every box holds memories, both wonderful and awful.  Students who exceeded everyone's expectations (except maybe mine).  Students who frustrated me to the nth degree.  Lessons that were amazing and lessons that were dreadful.  Student mementos from kids all grown up.  Except for the one who took his life. To most people it looks file folders and crates of books, but to me it is hundreds of children's lives that passed through mine.

My clothes, while not emotional generally, seem to multiply.  Odd since I rarely ever buy any clothes.  I get hand me ups from Karina, pass-ons from other friends, rejects from other family members.  I have clothes in a range of sizes, as well.  Kelly jokes that everything I own can be carbon dated since I always seem remember when/where I got something and for what occasion I wore it last.  He exaggerates a little, but I do notice that a lot of my clothes are older than Karissa.  Some older than Karina.  Perhaps at least everything with shoulder pads should go.

I have magazines with projects I want to try, house ideas I love, recipes, and the like.  Do I take the time to go through and tear out the ideas and put them in folders/binders, or do I look the other way while someone else donates them or recycles them?  With the magic of the internet, almost every craft idea ever, along with a youtube video actually showing you how to do it which is much better for me than written directions, is out there in cyberspace waiting.

Games, puzzles, books, toys and clothes that Karissa has outgrown have to be purged.  Nicer clothes go to the consignment shop or get handed down.  Not as nice clothes get donated, along with toys usually.  I've been shipping books to my nephews.  Anyone need puzzles or games for kids younger than eight?

Why the purge now?  We had actually started this process during the summer before I started to feel so crummy.  Stuff is not all that enjoyable if you are buried in it.  You can't use it if you can't find it.  My life is more complicated now because of the speaking and eating issues.  I don't need any other complications. We actually should have a big yard sale, but I don't know if I could face it.  Sometimes it is better for the stuff just to be gone.  I feel much better when I can give something to someone who really needs/wants it, too.

In my own crap department, I have mostly mastered the feeding tube.  The nutribullet does an excellent job of taking food of all types down to a jam-free consistency.  The Ninja blender is good for bigger batches, but the bullet is much easier to clean and holds about a meal worth.  Perfect.

I go back to the doctor and speech therapist next Tuesday.  I am still having the problem that when I move my head certain ways, fluid comes up in my mouth.  Not all that pleasant, but it also makes swallowing even harder when the traffic is going the wrong direction.  Swelling actually seems worse on the left side and my left arm intermittently aches.  The feeding tube hurts much less, but is still oozy and icky.  Apparently to be expected for awhile yet.  Oh, and my ghost tongue drives me crazy!!!  It burns and I swear at times I can feel it pushing on my teeth or brushing my lips.  Bizarre!

There is some crap I cannot unload.  The frustration I feel when I am trying to explain something to Karissa and she can't understand me.  The longing to read her a story.  The yearning to just take a big bite of a slice of pizza.  To tell a joke. To whisper.  I know that some of this crap will never go away completely.  If I stay busy and don't dwell, it is mostly okay.  It still strikes a passing blow on almost a daily basis, but it isn't like being hit by a truck anymore.

Here's to a grand 2014, with less crap and more joy.  I'll "drink" to that!  Happy New Year!