Yesterday, I had a fairly laid back day at home. So laid back that I lost track of what day it was, even. I had a wonderful visit with Anne. Now Kelly and I have dueling Dammit Dolls. Karissa brought a friend home on the bus. We had talked about a play date, but it seemed odd. Her mom is generally extremely conscientious about following up about such things. Hmmm... maybe I should shoot her a text message. Why no, she did not know her daughter was at my house. In fact, she had no idea where her daughter was and was frantic. She raced over. That is not small stuff.
Sleep has continued to elude me in long stretches. Therefore, although my laid back day only included laundry and visiting, I was wiped out. Can I say I loathe sleeping propped up? I cannot find the sweet spot between up enough to control the mouth fluids vs comfortable enough to actually sleep. Arrgh! I need a wedge, or to elevate the legs of our bed, or something. This is not working.
Today was ballet and we got the low down on all the recital entails. We are band people. While band people may suffer gauntlets, plumes, spats, and capes, this ballet land is somewhere we've never been. She needs performance tights. By Friday. She needs to have her (too short) hair up in a perfect bun, shellacked in place and covered with a hair net (what?). She needs make-up. Anyone who knows me is now laughing. What do I know about make-up? There are a thousand other details and be here/be theres. The ballet studio was extremely nice by excusing us from our mandatory volunteering-- nice oxymoron. They didn't have to be and we appreciate it. All this small stuff is making me tired.
We scrambled around trying to get to ballet twice, pick up Kelly's mom at the airport and get some groceries in the house. It took three cars and three drivers to manage this. Karina was a lifesaver. Paybacks for coming home to do her laundry. Thank goodness Natalie is here. Maybe she can make Kelly rest. I can't, but she is his mother after all...
We have the usual busy week ahead, starting tomorrow. Next weekend is somehow both the Ballet recital on Saturday and the piano recital on Sunday. Karissa is off the whole Thanksgiving week. We have a doctor's appointment on Portland Wednesday with the first night of Hanukkah that evening, followed by Thanksgiving the next day. Am I remotely prepared for any of this? No. Have I shipped Hanukkah gifts? No, that would mean I had bought them. Sigh. It's going to be a long two weeks.
For all of the people who have generously offered to bring us meals, here is what would help instead. Can you think of a meal that would be suitable for Kelly and Karissa but could also be blendered up to go into a feeding tube? In theory, anything will work, but you generally have to thin it out with liquid. We haven't tried meat yet, but it isn't off the table -- we just don't know if we have an appliance that will handle meat. Sometimes it is hard to figure out what is a logical liquid to thin with; I could whirl up a slice of pizza, but what do you thin that with, beer? Calories are also the issue. I need more of them. Not a situation I've been in too often in my life, well, with the exception of during radiation.
For all the people who have asked, "What can I do to help? Can I clean your bathroom?" The short answer is yes, yes you can. The long answer is I have to admit I am both self conscious and a control freak. Yes, the bathroom isn't too bad as my sister cleaned it within and inch of its life when she was here, but no matter how clean it is, it is still a 1960 blue bathroom with faux marble (What? Powder blue isn't a real marble color?) Stripping beds and making them is very hard for me, but then I'd have to let you in my bedroom. You'd see it is cluttered. Clearly this clutter predates cancer. Some of it may predate Columbus. Then you might judge me. What if you don't know where the dishes from the dishwasher go? What if there isn't really any place to put the jam away that is stacked on the table? What if you get lost in the mess in the garage and find Jimmy Hoffa? So yes, I do need your help. No, I won't ask for it. That is my true confession.
A lot of small stuff on our plates right now. Oh, and thank you notes. I really am going to write them, I swear. I really do appreciate all the amazing cards, gifts, flowers, notes, etc. I will do them right after the next level of Candy Crush (escape from reality at its finest.). Until tomorrow...
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2 comments:
OK so I was a dance nerd before I became a band geek, and I also had too short hair that had to be shellacked into a bun with a hairnet. I hope you can practice at least once before the recital next weekend - day-of jitters can put everyone on edge, and trying to figure out hair is so stressful! Bobby pins were my best friend, and while my bun never looked as neat as some of the other girls did, we tried hard. I was 15 when I quit dancing in order to be more involved in band. (Heck, there were cute boys in band, definitely none of those at dance class.) Dance is definitely its own world... hang in there. Isn't it wonderful that you will be at (both) recitals? You must be so proud.
Blending pizza is an interesting idea. Maybe use sour cream and tomato sauce to liquify? Can you feel temperatures at all? Maybe warming it up a smidge would de-thicken the full-fat sour cream and provide calories? Sending lots of good thoughts that this works, or that you get another good idea about it!
There's a quote "If you're here to see me, you're welcome. If you're here to see my house, make an appointment." Maybe you could redefine how you think about it. People want to help, but aren't sure what to do. So,by giving them a task, you are actually making them feel better. By letting them help you, you're actually helping them.
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