I've never seen any of the Rocky movies and I've never been to San Diego. Both of these could be fairly easily remedied, if I had the desire to do so.
I'm never going to attempt to jump a motorcycle over the fountains at Cesar's, or Bungee jump. Not that I ever had any desire to do so.
I'm probably never going to represent the United States in three day eventing, even though I'm pretty sure that was the plan at some point. I've let that go painlessly.
I've never smoked, used illegal drugs, gotten a tattoo, stolen anything, run for public office, or committed a crime. No loss there.
There are a lot of things I've never done. There are a lot of things I'll likely never do-- things that never occurred to me.
I'm not sure I'm ready to put never with things like speaking and eating. Not yet.
Thank you to Joy for coming today and talking about education policy. Thank you for letting me feel smart again, even though I have to scrawl my answers out. Thank you for giving me brain exercise.
Thank you to Heather for being so happy to see me. Thank you for making me feel needed and useful.
Thank you to all the people who have said reading this blog has helped them in some way. It makes such a difference for me, being able to make my "voice" heard.
Tomorrow we go back to Portland for lots appointments. Hopefully the tube will be coming out of my throat, leaving me with a hole that will eventually close up. I will be trying out various text to talk devices that will allow me to 'say' things out loud. Picking voices should be interesting. We are kind of playing beat the clock because I've met my out of pocket for the year, so the insurance will pay for a device if we get everything processed on time. I should be getting my first round of exercises (beyond jaw stretching) to try and make my mouth be somewhat functional again. Oh, and trying to work in hours of feeding and its unpleasant side effects with a four hour round trip car ride. That should be interesting.
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4 comments:
Dear Kiara, I look forward to your posts every day. I snorted at your last line yesterday, "I do not think that word means what you think it means", and thought of a few funny-ish things, like "My name is Kiara Wolf, you removed my tongue, prepare to die" but wasn't sure if that was funny or not. Anyway you are an inspiration. Keep on getting through every day.~Mary M
My Dear Kiara,
When I am in Eugene, you and I will dance together with the feeding pole. I'll even let you lead.
Truthfully, I never thought to put "Kiara" and "never" in the
same sentence. That is a total oxymoron. And whoever thinks those two words belong together IS a moron.
Will you eat again? Oh, yeah!! Will you speak clearly again? You bet your a_ _!!
There are so many good things ahead for you. There's nowhere to go but up!!
Someday soon, we will all sing the National Anthem together before a Packers game. Hopefully it won't be s game they lose to the Bears.
My love and good thoughts go with you and Kelly to Portland tomorrow. That would be a good place to leave the trach tube.
Til next time----
Love & hugs
xoxoxoxo
So many voices, so little time... Wouldn't it be nice if there was a device that changed the character and tone based on your mood? I hope your trip to Portland tomorrow goes smoothly! Sabena
So what I am getting out of this post is that you are kind of busy today? :) Trach scar - mmm, just another on the list. Don't worry it won't detract from your natural beauty. You light up a room, just by being there, it never occurred to us to ask for more. (yes, it is movie quote that I morphed and you will now have to figure out - let me know when you get it) :)
Love ya!
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