Whoo HOOOOOO!

Hi, it's me again, Kiara.  It has been a day and it is just barely four pm.

As Kelly posted, the biopsy news was the best we could hope for and I am so thankful!  It makes all this worth it.

I had a long night of discomfort (continued swelling) to set me up for this morning's drama.  The amazing nurses have done absolutely everything to try to make this better. One scouted the floor for a recliner, which has made a huge difference.  My neck and my rear thank her profusely.  One of the night nurses spent a LONG time helping me try to clean up in the wee hours of the morning.  This is not an easy task with multiple wires, drains, and sutures.

Before I launch into the morning fun, I would like to reflect on what coming back from recovery often looks like.  Last Wednesday involved  a Foley catheter, a doppler wire through the side of my neck, pulse oximeter, IV drip, feeding tube, the squeeze booties and six drains.  The first thing to go is the catheter, which is good, except at some point they will expect you to take this medical supply shop to the bathroom.  They will look you in the eye and say, "pee into the hat."  The hat?  I just hoping to neither yank anything loose or electrocute myself.  Right, in the hat.

Then, sadistically they will give you lots and lots of IV fluids to flush all the stuff out of your system (like the precious three pain meds you can tolerate), which makes you have to get up more often.  To pee in the hat. But no #2 in the hat.  What?  Who makes this stuff up?

Back to today.  At  6 am my nurse rushed in and said they are going to take you down to OR right now.  Again, What?  She called Kelly.  She packed me a to go kit (including note pad and pen.)  She went down with me, held my hand and gave me a hug.  That is one amazing nurse!  I have been so lucky!

Kelly arrived in the nick of time to see me off.  At this point, does a one hour "procedure" even count anymore?  I came round still reeking of anethesia gas and demanding to go, you guessed it, to the bathroom.  Who needs a hat when they can instead ask you to use a bed pan while lying in a guerny.  Good times.  As Kelly said, they cleaned out my neck and put in some new drains.  Penrose Drains.  That is a the medical term for an old woman throwing dirty mop water out the window into the street. Open drains.  The nurses tried the +2 cape of drippiness, my roll was apparently not high enough.  Yummmy.

At any rate, transport brought me back up and I climbed into my black market recliner.  A warm blanket and a nap makes everything better.  I am back in my "training" trach, with padding at the bottom like a bra.  Not at all comfortable and I remember the moving up process wasn't all that fun either.  But we will more forward.  Kelly is really good at suctioning even the small trach, pulling the inner cannula, scrubbing it and replacing it.  Perhaps this is our division of labor.  I will do the healing, but don't show me one more bloody, oozy thing covered with gross.

PT came by.  Kelly filled her in on my back ground.  She pretty quickly admitted I probably knew as much about PT as she did.  She did give me some handouts, but said she totally understood if I just threw them away.  Okay.  But I've never had a trach before.  I do need guidance, I do!!

I know that many have you have asked how I can be witty at this point.  Well, it helps me keep my sanity.  If I can make it a little more acceptable, comfortable, even funny, then you will feel better about it.  Thinking up a funny turn of phrase is better than thinking about how much this or that hurts, or worse, how much this or that is GONNA hurt.  I love you all.  I love life.  I'm going to live it, whatever that looks like!

Kiara

PS-- one of the devices we looked at has pages where you can pre-load vocabulary specific to certain activities.  Child rearing (say thank you, say please, GO TO YOUR ROOM) and Catan specific vocab leap to mind (Wood for sheep?). I'm betting you are still going to make me bank.  I wouldn't have it any other way:)