Monday was a great day. Well, Monday started great. Then the news came out about the shooting at Sparks Middle School. The teacher who lost his life marched with me in the band at UNR and in the Alumni Band. Although I do not have a clear recollection of him, many dear friends do and I am heart broken that they are heart broken and I cannot make this better. In case you've noticed, being powerless is not something I do well.
Outside of tragedy, the health story was good. I walked six laps, which is just over half a mile. I tolerated the new "liquid" food better, probably since it is more like actual food. I feel like I'm looking at dog food labels-- does it have meat protein or just chemical by-products and soy. Yum. It is an unattractive color as well, but at least it is "unflavored". No kidding.
In fact I felt so good, they took out two drains and changed out my trach tube to a smaller size. Nothing about this process was fun or enjoyable. I'm not sure why surgeons feel like it is okay to just leave cut stitches, blood, spent needles, etc. all over the bed when they are done and just leave. Gross.
Apparently I had really over taxed fate at this point.
Warning, female biology lesson ahead.
Why, oh why, would Mother Nature find it necessary to send my aunt for a visit at this particular time? The floor nurses were understanding and allowed me to decline the "mesh" underwear, thank goodness. However, being helped into your pad and underwear by a CNA (male) who cannot be over 19 and your husband would be humourous if it wasn't so embarrassing.
As further punishment for feeling well, my night nurse was training a nurse, so everything took twice as long. The minute I tried to go to sleep someone was back doing something to me, and explaining it along the way. Just a trip to the bathroom requires unplugging multiple machines and hauling along cords. Not even worth the effort some times. The time lapse sent pain meds behind schedule and when you are limited to over the counter stuff, that isn't good. By the time the ENT team made their first visit at 5am, I was in pain and on zero sleep. They were back again at 6 and then shift change at 7. So much for sleep.
Do I want a bed bath? Did I go to the bathroom? Have I walked? What is my pain level? Is the drain holding? Am I refluxing? Do I want to be more up, more down, more twisty, more twirly? The nursing staff is completely amazing, but once and awhile you just want to sleep. The doctors travel in packs, too. Waking up to 6 -7 doctors packed in your room is more than a bit unsettling.
No path report as of this morning. Finally starting to feel a little human and not so grumpy. Kelly finally crashed in my room. He is baked.
Oh, and someone called my room phone. Really? Too back I couldn't reach it or they would have gotten the clapping hands in the ears.
A little sleep, a little pain meds, and a little walk and hopefully I'll be less cranky tomorrow. Latest projected discharge date is now Friday, October 25.
Love to all!
Kiara
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6 comments:
Hello,my dear Kiara-[
I was very saddened to hear about the shooting at the middle school.
And knowing you spent time with the teacher in your band days makes it even worse.
Hope you have a much better night than you had last night.
Love & hugs to you. Will check in with you tomorrow.
xoxoxoxo
Hope you can get some sleep. Things always are easier to take with that precious commodity. Thinking of you lots!
You definitely win for most dreadful time to get visited by your aunt. I second what Lesley said, and am definitely glad to hear that drains are being removed and the trach was downsized. Yeah!!!!
Even with bad moments, it sounds like you are getting your strength back. I think you walked more today than the average person.
No more Monsanto Special Formula?
btw Kiara, "sleep" and "hospital" don't match. I never understood the 2 am weigh in. I guess if they made it too comfortable, nobody would want to go home?
Kiara I know what you mean about the no sleep and the nurses in training explaining everything. That happened when Colin was born. They constantly came to check on me or him every hour. Finally, my dad called from CA and talked to my doctor and head nurse to tell them to put a do not disturb sign on my door so we could get some sleep. That was one perk of having a dr. for a dad. Do you want me to call I could impersonate well....
Control is something I struggle with and "not be in control" is not my best skill set. It is the little things we do to take care of ourselves that we don't share with the world, that make us feel, on those days, where nothing goes right, that at least we did something for ourselves. Clearly based on yesterday and the past week, you have to change the definition of what your little things will be for the time being. While it required an orderly and a husband to take care of Aunt Flo, did you manage to not flip off the 7th person who woke you up from what might have been a nice nap, if they had not come in? I would score that in the win column.
Back to the nonsense I call my life. One of the drum majors in band is struggling with his leadership abilities. You may not know this, my dear Kiara, but you command a room effortlessly. It is why we all love you so much. Reference the first Harry Potters book. "Only those that want to find the stone, but not use it" can ever truly get it. Those who want power, have a certain desperation about them the others can see and they do not respond to it well. It is the one who just comes in and do the work, not looking for the title that everyone flocks too.
Well, after the competition on Saturday, one of the drum majors kept back half of Bus two and decided to give them a lecture on behavior. It did not go well. Standard punishment for loud behavior is cleaning the bus. No problem, the boys that were loud, knew they would be cleaning the bus. They excepted that as the price to pay for a good time. Sadly Nicholas was grouped into the clean up crew, I say sadly, not because he has never been naughty, but on this particular trip home, he had been sleeping, but the drum major doesn't much like him. Again, no problem. Cleaning the bus is not a big deal and Nicholas knows he has gotten away with plenty of mischief that he didn't get called on. It was the tone and length of the lecture, not to mention it was coming for a peer and directed at 24 students, many of which had done nothing wrong and were only on their second band competition bus trip.
Happily one of the staff members was able to cut the lecture short when it became clear that since the drum major was blocking the isle, that a physical confrontation would be the only way the students on the bus would be allowed to leave. My heart went out to the Freshman, who had done nothing wrong. I also feel bad for the drum major, because he made a seriously poor judgement call. He has struggled with leadership for the past three years. He is not a popular child and has trouble connecting with other students. Not to mention, his mom is the band booster president - I felt particularly bad for the director, knowing he was going to have to dress down the boy and face the mother. Miss teaching much? Nothing like the PTA presidents kid being in your class and a problem child.
Jenny's relationship with "a boy" has lasted a full week. Yuck! Nicholas had a math test, fingers crossed he did well and I agreed to host the band Halloween party at our house this year. How is the feeding tube looking now?
I wish I could take away all of the indignities, it is hard enough to deal with pain and recovery, not to mention adapting to everything new, but hopefully a house filled with badly dressed teenagers on Thursday will cause you to smile, because they are not at your house - touching everything. Reference back to my control issues.
Love you.
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