Here we go again, friends.

So this is the place for what is going on in cancer land.  Kelly will be doing updates from the hospital since I'll be in no shape to be doing it for awhile.  Here are the details.  Be warned, they are gory, so if you are easily grossed out, you may want to skip this.

They are going to have to take most of my tongue.  They are hoping to salvage enough of the far back right corner to anchor the "flap" to.  The flap is a piece of me from somewhere else, likely my back, that they are going to put in as basically a space filler.  It won't move or taste.  To get to the tumor they are likely going to have to split my lower jaw down the front, remove a few teeth, and then close it with a plate.  Yes, this gets better and better.  They also will take the lymph nodes on the left, as well as a few more from the right.  Start picturing this scar-- ear to ear and lip down. Nice.  I will also have a temporary trach tube and a feeding tube into my stomach (a PEG).  That will likely be permanent (or not, depending on which doctor you talk to).

On the upside, they are confident they will save my life, I should have a normal life expectancy, and once I heal the pain I have been in should stop.  On the downside, I will not be intelligible when I talk, nor will I be able to taste anything.  I may learn how to eventually swallow liquids, or even soft foods, but I won't be able to taste them.  There are a lot of text to talk devices now, so I will be able to "speak" that way, but there will be the delay for me to type.  It won't be the smooth conversation of talking.

I am having some problems coming to grips with this, as you might imagine.  Unfortunately it is already quite uncomfortable to eat and speak, so while I have free rein to eat as much as I want of whatever I want and to visit, it is painful.  So much of our culture is based on eating and talking.  So much of my life has been centered around eating and talking.  This will be a big paradigm shift for me.

Of course, the alternative is death.  With that bit of perspective, onward we go.